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A practical, affirming guide to exploring desire differences between partners who identify as either vanilla or kinky in sexual preferences
More than 80 percent of adult couples in the US report a desire discrepancy between partners—a misalignment not only in frequency of sex but also in what turns them on. Many people harbor fantasies that they feel uncomfortable sharing. With Sprinkles on Top offers a positive and empowering guide to talking about and working through sexual differences—particularly between kinky and non-kinky, or vanilla, partners. Sex therapist Dr. Stefani Goerlich helps readers explore what excites them, what they want to share with their partner, and how to communicate and try new things. With empathy and understanding, the book addresses the fears experienced on both sides of a desire divide and provides guidance for relationships of many different shapes and orientations. It offers evidence-based facts about BDSM and its effects on relationships, reassurance about what a partner’s interests might imply (or not!), support and validation of one’s own preferences, and important tips for differentiating between violence and kink. Here, readers will find specific suggestions for protecting, preserving, and strengthening their relationships despite differences in fantasy and desire. With Sprinkles on Top invites readers into playful and sex-positive exploration and affirms that vanilla and kinky people can thrive together in healthy relationship. |
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Winner of the 2021 AASECT Book Award!
Winner of the SSTAR Professional Book Award 2021 Winner of the SASH Media Award 2022! The Leather Couch provides a comprehensive overview of the BDSM and kink community and guides clinicians on how to meet the unique relational and mental health needs of its members. The text offers a 101-style introduction to BDSM before delving into topics ranging from intersectionality within the kink community, to conducting a kink-affirming risk assessment and how to discern between domestic violence and consensual power-exchange. The author explores differential diagnoses and clinical concerns that are relevant to health care providers, including social workers and therapists as well as primary care physicians and sex educators. Interwoven throughout with real-world case studies, each chapter presents practical suggestions, tools, and handouts the reader can use to inform their practice and serve clients in ways that meet the needs of each individual, couple, or partnerships. Written in a conversational, accessible style for clinicians and members of the BDSM community alike, The Leather Couch is the go-to resource for any mental health professional or educator looking to transform their practice from kink aware to kink affirming. |
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