Stefani Goerlich: Author & Forensic Sexologist
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Securing Sexuality: Emerging Issues at the Intersection of Intimacy and Technology

12/21/2025

 
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"Timely and non-alarmist, Securing Sexuality demystifies the complex intersection of intimacy, technology, and personal safety. Blending sex therapy, cybersecurity, and cultural insight, Stefani and Wolf Goerlich offer a much-needed roadmap for understanding and developing our own personal risk framework—empowering us to reclaim and protect our digital identity in an increasingly connected world. Essential for clinicians, technologists, and anyone navigating modern relationships, this book will equip you to become a safer, more informed digital sexual citizen."
- Simon Dubé, PhD, Research Fellow, Kinsey Institute; Affiliate Professor, UQAM Department of Sexology 

"Most cybersecurity advice treats human sexual behavior like it’s irrelevant or a terms-of-service violation, and most sex education pretends technology is optional instead of a major part of intimate relationships. Stefani and Wolfgang Goerlich finally connect the two sides of human behavior around computers and show that this dichotomy is not only false, but dangerous to the most vulnerable people in society. I’m so grateful to them for having connected the right to digital privacy with a useful strategy to achieve it. These are the tools you need to enable you to use tech as a whole person while preserving your dignity and agency. Bravo."
- Tarah Wheeler, CEO & Founder Red Queen Dynamics"

"This book is an approachable and sex-positive survey of the areas in which sex and technology have overlapped over recent years. At a time when support workers are overwhelmed and lawmakers are pushing for increasingly puritanical solutions policing sexuality online, it is refreshing to read a book as pragmatic, human-centered, and candid as this one."
- Eva Galperin, Director of Cybersecurity, Electronic Frontier Foundation

"One hacker + one sex therapist = a deeper dive than you can imagine into the ways sex tech has snaked its way through our lives. In my field it's common to recognize that 'anything that can be used for sexual purposes, will'--and Stefani and Wolfgang Goerlich illustrate that with the most thorough journey imaginable, from the caves to tomorrow, with deep dives into the history (and current tech and social implications) of all kinds of sexual issues that, one way or another, are relevant to almost everybody. Think finding community, dating, toys, entertainment, privacy, censorship, and more. Every page offers insight into our past and peepholes into the future.

​Look, I know Artificial Intelligence is all over the news (and everything else) these days. But before you succumb, read this book--and partake of deeply informed info from a duo and a community that specializes in fierce and fearless human intelligence. As Wolf and Stefani conclude, 'The complex problems covered in this book demand interdisciplinary thinking': just what one hacker + one sex therapist can deliver. Sharing the planet with these two gives me hope."
- Carol Queen, PhD, Sexologist and Curator of the Good Vibes Antique Vibrator Museum, San Francisco
Securing Sexuality equips therapists and clinicians with the latest information about tech ethics, privacy, cybersecurity, and cybersexuality, providing practical tools to navigate the myriad ways in which their lives and the lives of their clients are lived online.
What does safe sex mean in a digital age? From dating apps and digital consent to deepfakes, AI companions, and online surveillance, this compelling volume examines how intimacy is evolving—and what we risk losing along the way. It provides mental health professionals with tools they need to help their clients safely explore a variety of intimate scenarios across a wide range of apps, websites, and technologies. Award-winning sex therapist Stefani Goerlich discusses hot topics in technology, and each chapter ends with an accessible lesson on a specific aspect of technology by leading cybersecurity expert, J. Wolfgang Goerlich.
Enriched with practical tools and interviews by industry specialists, this book helps therapists mitigate risks while guiding clients through the process of making personal choices in this domain. This book is a vital resource for marriage and family therapists, sex therapists, counselors, scholars, and curious readers who want to understand how technology is reshaping our most intimate spaces.

BDSM and Kink: The Basics

8/6/2024

 
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​BDSM and Kink: The Basics provides an essential overview of knowledge that every clinician should have about alternative sexualities.

In an accessible, user-friendly format, the authors offer a high-level yet comprehensive introduction to the world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, fetishists, and more. Written by two of the leading experts on working with kinky clients, BDSM and Kink: The Basics takes a sex-positive, kink-affirming approach to the material, exploring everything from etiologies and basic terminology through risk assessment and clinical best practices. The perfect desk reference for any clinician who wants to expand their understanding of erotic minorities, this book will prepare you to meet your clients with curiosity and competency while offering digital resources and specific suggestions to deepen your knowledge wherever you need it most.
This book is essential for mental health and medical providers, educators, and individuals interested in learning more about BDSM and Kink.

Winner of AASECT's 2024 General Audience Book Award!!

3/26/2023

 
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A practical, affirming guide to exploring desire differences between partners who identify as either vanilla or kinky in sexual preferences

More than 80 percent of adult couples in the US report a desire discrepancy between partners—a misalignment not only in frequency of sex but also in what turns them on. Many people harbor fantasies that they feel uncomfortable sharing. With Sprinkles on Top offers a positive and empowering guide to talking about and working through sexual differences—particularly between kinky and non-kinky, or vanilla, partners.

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Honored by All 3 American Sexual Health Professional Organizations

11/30/2022

 
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Winner of the 2021 AASECT Book Award!
Winner of the SSTAR Professional Book Award 2021!
Winner of the SASH Media Award 2022!
The Leather Couch provides a comprehensive overview of the BDSM and kink community and guides clinicians on how to meet the unique relational and mental health needs of its members.

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An Advanced-Practice Sequel to The Leather Couch

7/25/2022

 
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Kink-Affirming Practice is an essential guide on how clinicians can ethically and effectively integrate elements of their client’s BSDM identities and practices into their treatment planning, creative interventions, and client self-care.

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  • Home
  • About Stefani
    • Professional Affiliations
    • Publications
    • Advanced Credentials
    • In The Media
  • Books by Stefani
  • Public Speaking
    • Presentation Topics
  • Legal Consultation
  • Get in Touch
  • Kink & Scene Negotiation