Coming October 10, 2023
A practical, affirming guide to exploring desire differences between partners who identify as either vanilla or kinky in sexual preferences
More than 80 percent of adult couples in the US report a desire discrepancy between partners—a misalignment not only in frequency of sex but also in what turns them on. Many people harbor fantasies that they feel uncomfortable sharing. With Sprinkles on Top offers a positive and empowering guide to talking about and working through sexual differences—particularly between kinky and non-kinky, or vanilla, partners.
Sex therapist Dr. Stefani Goerlich helps readers explore what excites them, what they want to share with their partner, and how to communicate and try new things. With empathy and understanding, the book addresses the fears experienced on both sides of a desire divide and provides guidance for relationships of many different shapes and orientations. It offers evidence-based facts about BDSM and its effects on relationships, reassurance about what a partner’s interests might imply (or not!), support and validation of one’s own preferences, and important tips for differentiating between violence and kink. Here, readers will find specific suggestions for protecting, preserving, and strengthening their relationships despite differences in fantasy and desire.
With Sprinkles on Top invites readers into playful and sex-positive exploration and affirms that vanilla and kinky people can thrive together in healthy relationship.
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Stefani Goerlich is a Certified Sex Therapist, Clinical Sexologist, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She specializes in working with and writing about gender, sexuality, and relationship differences.